What's in a name?

As it turns out, having an unpopular name makes you more likely to become a juvenile delinquent. The study is an obvious abuse of statistics, but it does explain a lot of urges I feel. As it turns out, Ernest is a dangerous dangerous name. Just as naming your child Diogenes nearly guarantees that he will be a philosopher, naming him Ernest ensures that he will be a criminal. You are all warned, and the government probably has tabs on me.